For No One Tagged Me...

1. What is your go-to item?

I guess for a while it´s been skirts and dresses, but now I am just realizing my style is changing and I am all about pants right now. Mostly skinny ones, even though I am trying to find the best pair: super low, dark denim and without spandex!!!

2. What is your secret weapon? (Moroccan Oil? Great shoe insoles? Spanx? Give it up!)

Secret weapon: huge hair. I believe hair is what really defines how you look. I really like when my hair is so big and curly and it looks like its all messy but at the same time you feel like everything is in the right place. The problem with my hair is that its naturally straight so I spend a lot of time and products trying to make it curly and huge. I also love earrings, I cannot live without them! I always have the very-small-huggies kind, I think every girl should wear earrings all the time, they make you look so feminine!

3. What is on your (realistic) wish list right now?

Right now I would love to have some really-really low skinny jeans, but since my legs are so full its hard to find ones that really fit without being so tight. They would have to be denim but really dark blue - denim. I would also like to have lots of long-sleves shirts for work because I am always cold with the ones I have.

4. How do you keep things fresh everyday?

I check out the colors I wear during the week and I try to stick to a wide palette and not wear only black, white and grey even though I work in a serious office. I love accesories and I try to mix patterns.

5. If you could go shopping with anybody, who would it be and why?

I’d say Tim Gunn. He would really tell me what looks good on my body and what doesnt. Lately I´ve been feeling like I have a lot of clothes that are childish and I really want to change that (not that I feel old or anything). He would really tell me what I should splurge on and where to look.

6. Who is your Fashion Icon?

 I love Audrey Hepburn and Olivia Palermo’s style. I also love just about all the lookbooks J Crew, Anthropologie and Gap.

7. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about fashion?

I think you should always be yourself and not stick with what the stores are telling you. There are so many styles I´ve tried just because I think they are so stylish but then find out they don´t work out on me. Try things that you like without thinking if the people around you are going to stare in disappointment.

8. What do you do to keep yourself fresh & looking great during travel/vacation?

When I travel I always carry my flat iron to style my hair, I also take a nice dress just in case I need it and some great accesories. I tend to get cold so easily so I always bring a nice jacket/coat that would match any outfit. Comfortable shoes are also a must.

9. What is the best cheap/drugstore item that is totally underrated?

Mascara! I´ve tried so many expensive ones but always ended up with tears in my eyes and my lashes all down. Until I tried the cheapest Apple-Mascara with avocado-oil. It is so cheap and natural because it stays on all day and you can easily remove it at night with baby-oil. My lashes look so long sometimes I´ve been asked if they are fake.

10. What is the one item you should splurge on?

Shoes! If you really like a pair that you think its cute and comfortable you should get it. Every outfit is made 1000-times better by adding the right pair of shoes. Shoes can also totally ruin an outfit!

The World Does Not Revolve Around You

I´ve heard the phrase many times. Two of them are stuck to my mind.

 

After being so sick for almost a week I decided to go to the doctor yesterday. I had spent so many nights coughing without getting enough sleep. The doctor said I was not sick, that it was some kind of horrible allergy. He reminded me that allergies never go away, that its just a matter of avoiding the origin of it.

 

Today I woke up anxious. As soon as I got to work I received an e-mail offering help in my allergy-agony. I then wondered why the help didn´t show at the time I was suffering and begining with the stupid allergy-sickness. Why the "mobile" didn´t ring at the time the literal shooting was going on and I was so worried.

 

Why on earth would a third party tell me to my face I deserved full-quality-time attention. Why does that third party even noticed I lacked that attention and that it was really getting to me. That third party got stuck in my mind like something I should´ve asked Santa for Christmas, instead of that fight and uncomfortable feeling.

 

I don´t regret everything I´ve done and I am well aware of all the wrong things I´ve said and done. However every single day I wish things were completely different in so many aspects of my life and keep asking God to see how bad I am hurting and give me the intelligence and strenght to change them.

 

How bad I wish I was literally invisible to be able to start crying myself out until I had let it all go and then put on my show-face again.

 

This too, shall pass.

 

AB

 

 

 

 

I Miss The Red Cup

Today has been an awkward day. I didn´t sleep well last night to begin with. The I woke up and realized I have a throat-ache and as many as you know I NEVER get sick. I absolutely know the throat-ache has to do with me keeping my mouth shut for all the things that are really bothering me these days. Like anyone would care.

So I woke up and dressed up so that was a good start. Last night my best friend (boy) and I went out for coffee and it just felt like good old times. With the same love misunderstandings and concerns. I am just worried my body is suffering so much for what´s going on in my mind.

I just got the part where I get to play my alter ego. I cannot wait to see how that goes. It starts today.

My friend Lulu gave me a bag full of oranges today so I guess that´s good too. After all friends are the ones you choose to share your life with.

I havent done a lot of exercise these days...

I was thinking the other day how "A Girl Can Dream". I don´t exactly want to mention why that thought came to my mind but by now I kinda know you can dream but some dreams are far from coming true. Besides I am not even sure that´s what I want.

C u 2morrow.

AB

Happy B-day To You

Happy B-day to the three of you!

I had an almost-great weekend with a huge party on saturday. I was having so much fun but then there was the yelling and for a moment I thought I was going to let it happen again and just surrender and leave. Instead I decided to stay and have a good time. And so I did.

On sunday I called and the feeling is back again, I don´t even want to start describing how bad it was. I just wish I was strong enought to finally let it go. For good.

I have also decided this is going to be a traveling-year and not the settling-down kind of year. I was thinking SF and BCN for a chance.

I really don´t know what else to write. Friday´s lunch was great, it was such a lovely surprise.

AB

Guess I'm Not The Fighting Kind.

The post´s title is from Keane´s song "A Bad Dream".

I was wondering yesterday why I haven´t been on the mood of dressing up easy and nicely, waking up in a smooth mood and thinking my whole day is going to be alright and full of blessings. After a while of waking up I feel like that, its just that it doesn´t happen as soon as I rise.

Mom had a breakdown yesterday and I felt horrible. It just hurts me so much to see her cry. I don´t want her to ever be in pain and not for things that can easily be solved by people who love her. Right now I want to scream to them how mad I am because of their misunderstanding. For taking for granted everything she does for us and pushing so hard still. I wish I was strong enough to keep my tears from coming when trying to talk to them and just having some kind of hope and believing they are going to magically understand and act differently. I wish you two were here to witness everything and make us your priority. Just like we do with you. Not for a weekend, not just by calling, but for real-everyday-life and its happenings. Like I said "Guess I´m not the Fighting Kind".

I really liked my outfit today. I saw on some blogs yesterday that wide-leg pants are coming back and this morning I grabbed my Levi´s that I got from El Corte Inglés´s Outlet. So proud.

My weekend is coming out pretty nice as for this moment. I am having great surprises like yesterday my friend Marco finally giving me that Spanish Candy he promised: turrón. Also the girls visiting me for pizza night and today Neto´s lunch invitation.

Dad is coming to town so we´ll see. Hopefully I´ll have some time later to post the things that are currently making me happy. So long.

AB

Still Awkward

I still don´t know what to wear in the mornings. Today I feel perfectly fine but it doesn´t count since I am wearing black and it matches almost anything.

I started my day feeling so guilty (again) for not waking up early to exercise. I gotta get that habit back again.

Yesterday I got home from work, and made a big mess out of a misunderstanding with grandma. I totally yelled at her and felt so bad afterwars for doing so. I guess I was so tired of working and having the pressure all day but I should be able to keep it together and shut my mouth, at least with grandma ´cause she shouldn´t have to pay for my day being so full of work.

I also went thru my closet and took out 3 bags of clothes that are going to charity. I felt so good and basically I made myself two questions before deciding on wheter or not pieces should be removed:

• How long have I had the item?
• When was the last time I wore it?

Three big bags were full of blouses, shoes, belts and even hats. I am telling you it didn´t hurt at all to have those removed. I even took 3 pairs of shoes to be sold at work, I mean, with my friends at work.

With some pieces I had the trouble of letting them go but it was more a matter of remembering the exact situation when I had gotten it. Some blouses my mom brought from her trips with dad, some others were gifts that I had worn so much, others were from BCN. What I always think is that if I lived in BCN with the cold weather and all, having clothes and shoes that filled only one suitcase, I can totally adjust to less than I already have. Some clothes I just know I wont want to wear in the future but having them gives me a false sense of security. Well, I still have another part of my closet and a drawer that need to be examined and purged.

I´m all about pants now, ´cause for some reason I just know I will feel more comfortable in them for a while, even though skirts have always been my favorite.

AB

Visual Crisis

Hello there, I am having a huge Visual Crisis. What it means is I have tons of clothes, plus another huge quantity of new clothes and basically nothing to wear, or at least that´s how I feel in the morning. I was talking to a friend at work and telling her how I am at a crisis on finding a style that I really feel comfortable in, an outfit that I want everyone to see, something that would make me feel special. Don´t get me wrong, I feel fine, I feel so blessed, so special, but I want to get back to that feeling of security in what I wear. As soon as I get out of home I will realize my skirt is too short, too showing, my tights too bright, my shoes too high, etc. I know I don´t invest as much time as I did in playing dress-up at home, that is, spending time in front of the closet/mirror matching clothes and shoes until I find the perfect match, but work has been different and priorities change. Anyways, I want to get it back. In the mean time: no skirts.

Over the weekend I had such wonderful compliments or I don´t really know what to call them. Someone told me I was amazing and another person told me she was so happy to have been by my side (that is, one of my best friends). I really hope I can remember everytime how special they are and how much they mean to me so that I always proceed as the best friend anyone can have when around them. I have to admit I am the kind of girl that always needs to have feedback on how I am doing on any matter. I am just like that. I hate surprises. I am just afraid ´cause I know I have such high expectations and it´s easy for me to get disappointed. Amazing how yesterday and today two girls got mad at me, the second one really got me.

I am so organized that sometimes I am afraid my priorities don´t resemble my real interests and likes. I am so afraid debt will hunt me or police will knock on my door someday. My friend told me how hurt she was because I don´t spend time with her anymore, and she couldn´t be more right. I love her so much and I would feel horrible if she would take away something as precious as our friendship. I know I have to reconsider my obsession with exercising after work or going to bed early ´cause I would feel like my body is charging for it in the morning when I don´t want to wake up to exercise again. Its a sick cycle, but trust me, if you are the kind of person who likes to exercise you will understand me when I say exercise is like a free-wonderful-medication. Yes, I am on the sick group of girls who worries she is too fat and the sane part of my brain (that I only listen when around ice cream and "Taquis") tells me I have a wonderful body that shows no diseases.

Well this is my way to apologize to those friends that are great for demanding the time they really deserve out of me. To thank my great boyfriend for being so sweet and understanding in these hard family moments, perhaps he doesn´t really know how much he has helped these last days. I wish family matters didn´t get to me that much but they do. Somedays I understand better than others that being given extra chores is just a possibility of thanking the Lord for giving me the ability to perform them.

Finally, I ask God to heal me ASAP from my visual crisis, or at least to send Tim Gunn my adress so he can reach me and help me thru my make over.

AB

Virtue To Vice

You know how they say the first step towards recovering in someone´s addiction is to acknowledge you have a problem. Well folks I have I problem: I shop. I just love to shop.

This time of the year is all about sales around the malls and I just went for it. All the way. I got two precious long coats, a black one and a cream one. I thought I had to get them since they were 50% off and perfectly fitted to my body. After purchasing the coats I thought to myself  "Well, it wouldn´t hurt me to have that other skirt, shirt, tank..." so I splurged! I wish I could say I feel so guilty but I really don´t!

It was such a perfect day, mom and I went to have breakfast at the mall and then in the afternoon we went to the saloon and we had the best time talking to friends. I felt so good to be around mom most of the day, specially now that she is not feeling her best.

BF and I also had a great time, we went shopping and he bought me a sweet Christmas-Snoopy tee with a wreath and a ribbon! It was the sweetest thing! After that we had dinner with my brother and it was so funny ´cause we went to a nice restaurant, but after that we ended up eating some filthy tacos at the corner!

It was such a great weekend and I am so thankful for it. I am amazed at how God just keeps on filling my heart with hope, I really think this is gonna be a great year!

AB

Long Time No See

Well It´s been a while since I´ve updated this thing.

On the bright side let me tell you I finally got my gold swatch watch. That was after a long and complicated search and after reading many signals that I interpreted as "you have to go get it fast".

So far my outfits have been simple and shameless ´cause supposedly I am on this phase where I want to look my best by making no effort at all. Somehow I have been lacking inspiration and no outfits come to my mind, or at least not very good ones. I can look great in front of my home-mirror but as soon as I get out of the house I know I should´ve done something different. Has this ever happened to you? If so please tell me how to deal. I am aware of the amount of clothes, shoes and accesories that I own. Almost every single pair of shoes has a matching belt and purse, but somehow all I want to wear in the morning are a pair of comfortable pants plus flats that won´t make any impact talking visual effects.

I probably sound too materialistic for not focussing on my feelings but right now I rather not. Mom had a car accident yesterday and it was horrible, I cannot begin to tell you how bad I felt and still feel.

Well, I really hope to have some good news soon, at least until I have the energy to wish for something else than sleeping.

AB

Little Pumpkin

Yesterday I couldn´t post. Horrible day. On the bright side my co-worker said I looked like a little pumpkin and I liked her compliment. I just wished I had worn that outfit on October 21st. but my city´s weather wouldn´t allow it.

Now, about my day. It started being so nice, I thought about asking for what I think I deserve for the very last time. At first it was good news, I was getting a big slice and it was a done deal: Happy Me! Three hours later it turned out I was the one that didn´t understand what had being said to me. Sad, sad, sad!

I went home feeling frustrated and depressed but then I talked to mom and she told me how I was making a big deal out of it and that I should think about all the good things that really matter and all the blessings that I have. She is so right. It´s amazing how sometimes we easily forget what our priorities are, plus, my happiness in life has nothing to do with that matter.

No picture from yesterday. Another post coming later today. C u.

AB

Santa was lost... but he finally arrived!

Well there, hello again. Today this post is about two wonderful friends and their wonderful gifts. Just when I thought my presents were pretty lame this two showed up with the best things. I promise photos are coming soon.

The first one is a "balero", which I am having a hard time translating. Its a mexican toy, something like a big woody-thing that has a hole and a stick that goes inside. Somewhere between getting the stick inside and playing you get your fingers all hurt. Anyways she gave it to me yesterday and today I took it to work and I am sure it will be handy sometime soon when the stress kicks in.

The second present is just as special, its a souvenir from San Francisco. My dear friend just got back from her trip and bought me a cup. Its such a pretty cup cause it has a hole on the handle and has a ceramic spoon that goes into that hole.

I just realized my friends tricked me, they gave me two things with holes... duh! Well, well...

I guess they don´t really know what those sweet presents mean to me, they really light up my days, I guess its so nice to feel loved.

I took a photo of myself yesterday, my brother helped and we laughed a lot, he couldn´t believe I started this one. I was a little disappointed when I saw the final result, I guess I will be used to it once I do it every day.

Well, to say the last, today I feel totally equestrian, you´ll see what I mean tomorrow, until then!

AB

Hello, nice to meet you.

So after many thoughts and consideration here it finally is; and for a first start this post is about its name and here is the definition that I think best fits me at the moment:

 Nescient
Uneducated in general; lacking knowledge or sophistication; "an ignorant man"; "nescient of contemporary literature"; "an unlearned group incapable of understanding complex issues"; "exhibiting contempt for his unlettered companions".

Totter
To walk or move in an unsteady manner, as from old age. To sway or shake as if about to fall. To be failing, unstable, or precarious.

I wish I could share a list of resolutions for 2011 but I guess I have none but to truly be myself and be careful with my feelings and how I share them to the world. So this is all for now.

AB